Can you picture the Norman Rockwell type scene….a perfectly roasted turkey sitting in the center of the perfectly set table? All the traditional side dishes abound and everyone in the picture is smiling and happy, just so glad to be sharing this time with loved ones. Does this describe your family at Thanksgiving? If not, rest assured you are in the majority. Many of us think that the holiday season, ushered in by Thanksgiving, is supposed to be a time of happiness and good will toward all. It is supposed to be a season where we feel inner peace and gratitude. However, so many of us experience this time of year as a period of great stress, overwhelm,  and anxiety and it can be accompanied by depression. The stressors can come in many forms—there is more heaped onto an already full plate; the budget for gift giving may not be ideal; family dynamics may have you believing that your family picture is beside the entry for “dysfunctional” in the dictionary; a big loss occurred this past year making this season seem empty and sad. There are already many articles on the internet explaining what to do from the conscious mind/logical mind perspective. If those techniques worked, a lot more people would experience the holiday season as joyous and the most wonderful time of the year. Instead, more articles telling you to plan ahead, stick to your budget, set your boundaries, etc., keep showing up. And they don't help you deal with the underlying reason you feel so badly. What lies below the anxious and depressive feelings, though, are beliefs that run continually in the subconscious mind, the part of your mind that stores all memories, emotions and beliefs. The suggestions in the articles referenced above do not address the subconscious mind --the part of the mind that truly runs us and determines how we react and feel.  As one of many possible examples, it may be that when you think of not having the money to buy the gifts you’d like to buy without running up the credit card, what comes up is a belief that “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good enough” or other negative belief about oneself.  It is not voiced but may be behind the sadness or anger in the situation, especially when it seems like everyone else around you is doing just fine. The feelings of stress, overwhelm, anxiety, depression, sadness, hurt and anger are not limited to issues around money. I could go into a variety of scenarios, but the situation is not the main issue. It is the way your mind processes the situation that is the key to change. In hypnotherapy, we discover why these feelings show up in the first place and we then transform the beliefs behind them. However, in addition to the work we do in my office, I empower my clients with "tools" they can use to help them reach their goals even faster. So in this two part series,  I’d like to start off by introducing you to one of the techniques I teach all my clients they can use to help start to get out of the fight or flight feelings that come up during the holiday. This comes from the Heart Math Institute and is called the Quick Coherence method. Here is a link to a page that describes Quick Coherence, a technique to help reduce tension and create peace inside. https://www.heartmath.com/quick-coherence-technique/. This technique not only helps reduce the feelings that don't serve you but is also an excellent interrupter of the pattern that is playing in your subconscious and helps to start get rid of that "faulty wiring". There are important components to keep in mind:

1. Make sure you touch the heart center—midline at the level of the heart. Whenever you touch an area, you automatically bring awareness and attention to that level. Imagine as if you are breathing in and out of your heart.
2. Breathe deeply and slowly— to a count of 5 in and 5 out. Slowing down your breath sends the message to your heart and brain that you are safe. It turns down the fight or flight response and turns on the “rest and digest” system.
3. Imagine, see, sense, feel or think of someone, something, a place, or a situation that creates a feeling of appreciation, gratefulness, kindness, caring, and/or compassion while you are breathing as if your breath is flowing in and out of your heart.
4. The woman in the video describes this as a one minute activity. If you have the time, spend 3-5 minutes doing this technique.

Next week, I’ll pass along another two techniques that go into my client’s anti-anxiety toolkit. For now, remember to take deep, slow breaths whenever possible and remember that you are safe and you are more than good enough.