Harboring a grudge can become destructive if you don’t learn to understand why you’re feeling so much anger and resentment and begin to heal from the pain. Unconsciously, grudges often eat away at us, and the never-ending anger begins to cause problems in relationships and your health. It’s not easy to move on from a grudge right away. It takes time to analyze why you were so upset and decide to let go.
Reasons We Hold Grudges
We harbor grudges for many reasons, though it often leads back to feeling hurt and wanting to hold onto that feeling of being right.
- Reasons We Hold Grudges
We harbor grudges for many reasons, though it often leads back to feeling hurt and wanting to hold onto that feeling of being right. - Feeling Hurt or Left Out
We often get our feelings hurt if we think we’re being left out, whether it’s a girls night out or a family gathering. This may prompt doubt and anger, but if we stop to analyze things, we’ll realize it wasn’t intentional. - Making Assumptions
We all make assumptions and get disappointed. This is a large issue, especially with families. We think a sibling or parent said something to hurt us, but it may have been just a slip of the tongue.
Personality Types That Grudges
According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) certain personality types hold grudges longer:
- ESFP (Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving): Doesn’t sweat the small stuff. However, if they feel betrayed by someone close to them, they hold a grudge for a long time.
- ENFJ (Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Judging): Often hold grudges for a long time if the hurt was deep.
- INFJ (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging): They are all or nothing. Once they’ve had enough, they’ll hold a grudge until the end of time.
How to Let Go of a Grudge
- Practice mindfulness and analyze your own behavior.
- Don’t let the grudge eat at you and learn to spot irrational thinking.
- Aim to find common ground and reconcile with the other person.
If you’re still struggling with letting go of a grudge and need some help, try this training course, where I’ll personally coach you and offer guided imagery and meditation on forgiveness for only $17. Please contact us at (510) 949-8668 if you have any further questions.
