Oakland,CA-How to Let Go of a Grudge for Your Own Self-Care-Hypnotherapy, Eastbay, CA

Often, we hold on to a festering grudge because it keeps us warm and in control. We’ve all been hurt by a friend that ghosted you, a partner that cheated on you, a teacher that ridiculed you, or the sibling that ignored you. You’re rightfully upset and want to protect yourself from further pain. Hanging on to a grudge and anger prevents you from being vulnerable and letting go and healing, both the relationship and for yourself.  Try some of these strategies for letting go of a grudge.

Own the Grudge

Begin by admitting to yourself that you’re holding a grudge. It may serve a purpose like providing an excuse to be angry or resentful towards someone or about a past situation.

Identify Your Triggers and Feelings

Figure out what’s the source of your grudge and why it bothers you so much.  As you replay it, see if you misjudged the severity of the event for a misunderstanding or accident.  Recognize each of your emotions: not just the anger, but the hurt, sadness, and envy too. Owning your emotions and allowing yourself to feel them for a limited amount of time will help you before letting go.

Listen to Feedback

We often confide in close friends and family about our past issues. Sometimes, even the most patient people grow tired of hearing the same grievances. If someone suggests you’re letting your anger get the best of you, it’s time to listen.

Let Go of the Past

Holding on to the grudge isn’t hurting the other person. It’s only hurting you and preventing you from moving on, forming deeper relationships, and experiencing new opportunities. Stop focusing on it, and spend time in the present on things you do enjoy.

Focus on Yourself

When we hold a grudge we tend to focus on how we were wronged. Instead, re-focus our attention on what happened so we can feel the suffering, and then kindness and compassion to heal and let go of the hurtful incident. Allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable about actually happened will aid in the healing process.

If you’re still struggling with letting go of a grudge and need some help, try this training course, where I’ll personally coach you and offer guided imagery and meditation on forgiveness for only $17. Please contact us at (510) 949-8668 if you have any further questions.